Michael Scarn, FBI

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When did it become socially unacceptable for me to go to puppet shows? I am sitting here in the library next to one and I miss it. Maybe I can worm my way into one this year before the year is over...Also, after being here for only about a week, I can already pick out the tourists vs. the residents. They can be really annoying (I know right, I am sure I have been in that category before). But the cruise ships are massive and it is really cool to wake up and see them in the harbour. Oh, and I went on a run this morning. Took some time to stop at a river and watch the huge mass of salmon attempt to make their way up stream. Then I saw three bald eagles take off. I stood there in awe for a few minutes. It was one of the most picturesque things I have ever seen in my entire life, these three majestic birds flying through this causeway of trees. Unbelievable...

A few corrections before I launch into it:

• Our priest's name is Fr. Scott, not Fr. Steve. My bad.

• Also, my site is the Hanson House, not the Haven House. I have made that mistake more than a few times. And will probably continue to make that mistake for a little while longer. Forgive me that little bit.

Alright, now that we have that out of the way, again, very eventful few days now. We continue to find out more and more about the community, its members, and our roles. And we haven't even started our positions yet. Although we have started to gain a more significant picture of what those roles will be. But I also realize that I have been negligent in introducing my community, the people I will be sharing this experience with over the next year. So let me get into it.

Nick hails from Long Island originally, and went to school at Holy Cross, just outside of Boston. We are going to be room mates for the next year, and quite painless and easy decision we made at orientation. I think we both realized it would be much easier to decide that then without a fight and we both realized (and hoped) that the other was easy going and fairly easy to live with. Also, we got the room with the best view. He likes sports, although he is a Red Sox and New York Giants fan, and knows Lady Gaga from high school. Oh well, can't be completely perfect. We have gotten along extremely well in the short time that we have been together. Our conversations have ranged from simply sports to politics to religion, to opening up about our lives to each other. Maybe it is because we are the only guys in the house or because we are sharing a room, but I am probably the closest to him at this point. Nick is going to be the children's advocate at SAFV (Sitkans Against Family Violence...I think).

Katie is from Maryland and went to school at Mount St. Mary's. She has a sense of humor that is very similar to mine: sarcastic and insulting. Which means one of two things: we are going to be best friends at the end of our time, or never want to see each other again. There will be no middle ground on that front. We both have come to realize that and accept it and have just become ourselves around each other. We went for coffee this morning and while we didn't have a life-changing conversation, we still sat and got to know each other that much better. But very little time passes between the two of us when we aren't commenting on something the other has said. Katie is determined to find her husband here with a very strict set of criteria: he has to be a coastie (in the Coast Guard). Not a day has passed thus far without her alluding to it (and myself subsequently commenting on that). Katie will be the matcher at Big Brother, Big Sister of Sitka.

Natalie is native to Troy, Il, which is right outside of St. Louis, and went to Marquette University. She has been the 'quiet' one of the house so far, and I put that in quotes because no one has been all that quiet (when we are around each other we are always talking. If there are two of three there sometimes is quiet, but 4+ and there is constant conversation). Very art oriented, she has taken to making origami cranes and hanging them from her ceiling. Pretty sweet. While I have not spent a ton of time talking with her, I am looking forward to getting to know her better over the next year. Natalie is going to be the women's advocate at SAFV.

And last but not least is Evie. Evie was a late addition to our community (and by late I mean about a week before orientation started), but a very welcome one. She hails from Seattle, and went to school at Western Washington. She applied late after being spurned by TFA. Oh well, their loss is our gain. Evie is a great person to have around, always having an opinion on something, but still very open and welcoming, always hearing out what you have to say. Always gung ho about everything, she is often the first one to offer a greeting, to volunteer to do something, or just to hang out. In a stroke of genius, Evie brought seasons 1-4 of 'The Office,' which has led to our nightly community Office meetings, a nightly occurrence that all of us look forward to. She also led our spirit animal quest (mine was a bald eagle). Evie will be working as an outdoor something or other at ORCA, an acronym that I do not know the meaning of. So that is my community, a group of people I didn't know until last week who will play a significant role in my life.

We have toured a few of the work sites recently. First up was SAFV where we met Meg, a FJV and Buffalonian, introduced us to the staff and to the work she does, as well as the work Nick and Natalie will be performing. SAFV is a women's and children's shelter for victims of domestic violence. The work they will be doing is apparently similar to the work I will be doing. But we will figure that out as time goes on. Next up was Katie and BBBS. Her super is a really nice guy who likes to talk...a lot. A few jokes have been made about that, but it seems as if Katie will be doing a lot of different things. One thing that was apparent during our time there was that James, who was just hired about two months ago, has a lot of pretty big plans over the next few months for BBBS, which is great. He is really ambitious and it seems as if Katie has a great opportunity to be involved with that. Not sure about Evie and ORCA yet. Because of her late entry we weren't able to set up a site visit because everyone is on vacation. Oh well.

Yesterday, Thursday, we trekked out to my site (it is going to be a bike ride every day...about two miles or so) and it is going to be one hell of a time. Basically, it is a home for kids for up to two years. Living room, kitchen, etc etc, and then the staff, who is there to facilitate everything. From programming to making sure kids get to their appointments on time, to just hanging out. Basically what I have said in the past. Hanson House is actually under the umbrella of Youth Advocates of Sitka (YAS), and they do a ton of work with youth from ages 5-18, mental health being their primary focus. My job will have two hats. The first is at the Hanson House, being there for the kids. I will be there two nights a week (most likely Tuesday and Wednesday) and on Saturdays during the day. The second part of my job is going to be in the high school, taking care of issues that come up with YAS clients throughout the day. I will have an office and all that fun stuff. I will most likely be there Thursday and Friday. While I am not going to be around the community as much as some of us would like, I will be around enough, and I will hopefully be providing some solid support for these kids, some of whom I met yesterday. I am really looking forward to starting. Training and orientation Monday and Tuesday. I am under confidentiality though, so I am not sure how much I will be able to share here.

Alright, so that is that. My community and their jobs. As well as a little better picture of my job, which I am sure I will gain a better picture of as time moves forward.

I have set a few goals for myself this year. Starting with getting in better shape and living a healthier lifestyle. There is a half marathon in November that I believe I am going to try and run. Then there is a marathon in Juneau I am thinking about running. I am definitely going to try to run the marathon in Anchorage which starts at midnight on June 20^th. I think that would be pretty sick. There is also a triathlon here in Sitka in May, and if I have a viable bike I am going to try and get through that. Also, at each retreat the Alaskan guys will be having a fitness challenge, consisting of push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, and wall sits. All of which I am not incredible strong in. While the chances of me winning are fairly slim, I still think it would be a good chance to improve my strength and general fitness level. I will be mapping at least my running. I don't want to embarrass myself by mapping the other stuff :).

I have one more goal this year. Back in July I was hanging out with one of my friends in Buffalo, someone who has just started to learn the guitar. She wanted to play a song for me, and even though I was exhausted I agreed and she pulled out the guitar. As I was basically passing out on the couch she started talking about how hard it was to sing for someone, and that there really was no point in it being incredibly difficult. We had a brief conversation (and by brief I mean I threw a few comments and grunts in while she spoke most of the time) about how vulnerable it makes one, singing for someone. To open up that much to someone is difficult. So many people are not very optimistic about their musical ability, so to open up that window for people can be very hard at times. I have not made myself vulnerable for some time, for an number of reasons. I have some pretty hardcore defenses up, and those are heightened now that I am in a completely new place with new people experiencing new things. Incredible things, but new things. I hope that soon, not right away, but soon, I become vulnerable enough to sing in front of someone. To open myself up and let someone in. Because until I am vulnerable it will be very difficult to help those I am being called to help. How can I expect to earn someone's trust when I am not opening myself up to them at all? Over everything, this is my number one goal for the next year.

And by the way, the song she sang was beautiful.