We recently started a quote board, and this is one of the few quotes on it that is appropriate to put in the public arena. My room mates might get angry with me if I put any more up. Yeah...we heard it while playing cards in the kitchen and listening to the radio...
So. Worst two week period yet. I have found that my kids really don't like to be held accountable. Like, really don't like to be held accountable. Frustration setting in...There have been a significant amount of conflicts that have arisen, over some pretty minor things. Up until this point I have found myself questioning the population that I was serving. I mean, I have friends serving very clearly marginalized populations but me...these kids are smart, many of them are not poor in a material sense, and generally extremely likable. But then some things happened and I started to realize that these examples, while the typical 'marginal' populations, is a very narrow scope of what marginal really means. Many of these kids have never been held accountable for anything, they have been allowed to get away with pretty much everything. A lot of parents equate 'love' with 'stuff' (and this is not isolated to just these kids; I can think of plenty of examples in my life). They haven't had too much exposure to a strong, supportive presence in their lives, and I hope that I am providing that, at least on some level. Unfortunately that sometime manifests itself in a authoritative presence. Not fun to do. But within all the conflict something pretty great happened - conversations happened, anger bore fruit and breakthroughs were made. Through those conversation, understanding emerged. Understanding about communication with each other, about roles, mine and theirs, and just the power of empathy has changed my relationship with some of these kids, but not in a bad way. All the anger and frustration I felt this week was somehow justified by two conversations I had at the end of the week. And that is a pretty cool feeling.
It has started to snow! For the past few weeks snow has begun to make its way down the surrounding mountains and that has been beautiful. But this week it started to snow in town and it brings a whole new element of beauty to Sitka. I love snow, always have. No different here. However, the weather has not been too fun over the past few days. A few examples. On Saturday I woke up and rode my bike to work. The wind was gusting at a pretty high rate. I got to work just as it started to hail. The hail then changed into rain which then changed into snow. It stopped snowing, the sun came out, and it was great...for about 15 minutes when it got dark and started to hail again. And this was 10 AM about then. Fun. Where I work is at the top of a pretty steep hill. As I left work the wind was pushing me uphill. I had to pedal down a hill, a pretty new experience for me. It was fun. Then this morning I went to the library and it was clear. About a half hour later it was snowing with about 100 foot visibility. Crazy...
A few things. First off, my job will be changing a bit. It is pretty much universally agreed on that my role at the high school is not strong enough; being there two days a week just doesn't give me the opportunity to support my clients as well as I could. So I will be going to the school Tues-Fri from 8-1, and then HH from 3-6 or so. I will eat dinner there sometimes. But yeah, hopefully this way I can provide a greater level of support to my clients by this. I am meeting with a few people at the school this week to discuss how that expansion might look. Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed at these tasks. Don't they realize that I am a 22-year-old recent college grad with a finance degree!?
Community is going really well. Some members are going a little stir crazy, but for the most part we are doing really well with each other. Of course, with the snow fall that is perfect packing snow, multiple impromptu snowball fights have broken out. Somehow it ends up being boys v girls, for some reason. Bad idea girls...Natalie is in Fairbanks this week, so we are a little shorthanded, but otherwise going strong.
GMAT prep is going. It is tough to get motivated sometime. It is a struggle preparing for this while staying present to my role here. It is tough, because as of right now this is not a permanent situation for me; my long term plans don't really include me staying in Sitka after this year (granted this could change, but just saying...). But I am doing my best to stay present in my community and at work. This has recently become my biggest struggle, especially as holidays start to come up.
Finally, my energy level is dropping a little. It tough, when it gets dark at 4 in the afternoon...Sorry again for the delay and the length; I just recently got a new computer (old one died) so hopefully I will get my act together and post more. Until next time...
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